love full of regret !

are you curious why it is entitled as secret love ? it's because i have this feeling that hunts me every now and then I've been keeping it for quite a long time because for me i need a female classmate to be able to share it but i was the only girl in our class that's why I'm not used into sharing my secret love . I'm shy to share it to my male classmates . the story starts here : my classmate , my seatmate and my close friend was a boy and we were so close to each other . we share everything ! and when we are bored in class we would talk or make some sweet or concern stuff and our classmates would tell us the we are so sweet to each other . sometimes they would tease us ! :( but still we keep on doing it even if they are teasing us because in our classroom we treat each other like brothers or sisters. for us they are trying to inform us that "i hope to see both of you happy together" or " i like both of you together" .. interesting right ? but my classmates and friends keeps on telling me that the boy loves me so much. then , here comes the boy proving me his love and cared a lot. and one thing i can't forget is that he keeps on telling me that "i enjoyed being with you !" and the second is that "her mom likes both of us." but i don't know what's bothering me because in that time or moment i really didn't have feelings for him until time was passing to fast that school's ending already i realized that i love that person so much and I'm afraid to lose him beside me but what should i do ? he's almost leaving for summer ? . then , here comes friends telling me to confess my feelings to him before leave for summer because he might not come back . that's why the next day i told him and he told me "I'm leaving tomorrow morning ---- and some one called our attention and we weren't able to talk to each other already :'( .. that's the end for now because i don't know what will happen next if he'll still come back of what.. that's why its so hard to have this pride that makes you lose in the end .. better learn lesson because life is not too easy to waste ! :)